April Madness! Now with predictions!

Forget March Madness (that shouldn’t be too hard in my case—I never knew who was playing anyway, nor did I care), because it’s Stanley Cup Playoffs time!

I’m going to attempt something I’ve never attempted before: making predictions. We’ll see how well I do as these series end; I’ll try not to spam my miniscule readership with sports analysis that nobody cares about. So, here we go. Matchups to watch in this first round:

• Western Conference
  • #1 Detroit Red Wings vs. #8 Nashville Predators. It’s going to be a Detroit blowout—the question is by how much. (Also, Vancouver should have had that eighth playoff spot, but…) Prediction: Detroit 4-0.
  • #2 San José Sharks vs. #7 Calgary Flames. Definitely going to be the best series, with two very physical teams. San José is a terrific team, but Calgary had an impressive run at the end of the regular season in the extremely competitive Northwest Division, and they can throw bodies around with the best of them. Look for the home ice advantage to be a huge deal-maker and -breaker in this series, especially in Calgary. Prediction: San José, 4-2.
  • #3 Minnesota Wild vs. #6 Colorado Avalanche. The Wild won the Northwest Division and can lay claim to being the most cohesive team in hockey. But Colorado’s defence is respectable, and they have some players very determined to take it to the opponents. Prediction: Minnesota, 4-1.
  • #4 Anaheim Ducks vs. #5 Dallas Stars. The Ducks are the defending Stanley Cup champions, but the Stars are determined—as they are every year. Excellent goaltending from both teams, and home ice is going to be a major factor. The edge goes to the Ducks, however, in physical play: their team is stronger, more cohesive, and dirtier, much to the dismay of fans everywhere outside of Anaheim. Prediction: Anaheim, 4-3 (all games will be won at home).
• Eastern Conference
  • #1 Montréal Canadiens vs. #8 Boston Bruins. Another blowout; the Canadiens are the best team in the Eastern Conference and deserve the top spot. Their skating, production, and level of excellence on the ice are the best in the East, and their goaltenders may be young, but they’re amazing. Look for Boston, however, to pull out a win or two with the goaltending of Tim Thomas keeping them just a step ahead of the Canadiens. Prediction: Montréal, 4-1.
  • #2 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #7 Ottawa Senators. The first game of this series is going on as I write, and is 2-0 in favour of Pittsburgh as I write. Ottawa, plagued by injuries (and Anton Volchenkov, the best shot-blocker in the game, right now just took a blocked puck in the eye and is out of the game, at least for the moment) and inconsistent goaltending, really doesn’t have much of a chance. Pittsburgh’s offensive production in the form of Crosby, Malkin, et al. is legendary; they’ll win, but they deserve opprobrium for (probably) throwing the last game of the regular season to get an easier opponent in the form of the Senators. Prediction: Pittsburgh, 4-0.
  • #3 Washington Capitals versus #6 Philadelphia Flyers. Look for a very even series. Washington, the closest thing to a Cinderella story in these playoffs, has a slight edge in their offence in the form of Alex Ovechkin, but Philadelphia is going to be a formidable opponent. Prediction: Washington, 4-3.
  • #4 New Jersey Devils vs. #5 New York Rangers: Two very experienced teams with two world-class goaltenders. That’s not to say that all the games will be goalie duels; both teams can score. Indeed, it’s tied at 1 goal apiece as I write this. Both teams have aging superstars who’d like to see their names on the Cup another time. This one’s a toss-up. Prediction: New Jersey, 4-3.

You may have noticed I’m not predicting any upsets. The only ones I think could happen are with the Ducks/Stars series—road wins will be key—and Rangers/Devils. Sharks/Flames is a possibility, as is Wild/Avalanche, but I doubt either of those will go to a game 7. My pick to win it all: I’m afraid I’ll have to agree with Don Cherry and pick the Sharks. No team from the Eastern Conference could beat any team from the Western Conference this year, and the Sharks are going to win the West.

Tune in soon to see just how wrong I am!