hockey

…and apparently plucks them and makes ridiculous suits out of their exquisite plumage. So okay, the last time—coincidentally exactly one month ago, when the playoffs began—that Don Cherry wore something this outrageous, I was really at a loss for words. But today’s Coach’s Corner just killed me:

In an effort to appeal to Canada’s large and growing Chinese population, the CBC has started to broadcast hockey games in Mandarin:

There’s no word for hockey puck in Mandarin.

So Jason Wang, who’s been calling the Montreal-Boston series of the NHL playoffs in his native Chinese language for the CBC - a first for the public broadcaster - just uses the Mandarin word for ball.

It’s one of the many hockey terms Wang has had to translate and in some cases make up as he calls the games for a Chinese audience. He says it’s no easy task.

“Especially in hockey, where Chinese culture doesn’t have a context for it, so I have to translate a lot of the terms, all the penalty calls, and sometimes I have to borrow from other sports,” says Wang, sitting in the small recording booth at the CBC building in Vancouver where he calls the games while watching them on a large TV.

This appears to be a textbook example of translation involving cultural compatibility issues. There are many words and phrases that can’t simply be translated but which exert influence on the patters of idiom in a certain cultural context. Hockey in Canada is a perfect example. Consider this exchange during Question Period in the House of Commons the other day:

KEN DRYDEN (Liberal, York Centre): Mr. Speaker, with every scandal around him, the Prime Minister can pretend—

VARIOUS MEMBERS: Oh, oh!

SPEAKER: Order, order. This is question period, not a hockey game. We are hearing now a question from the honourable member for York Centre and we have to be able to hear the question. Order, please. …

DRYDEN: Last week [James Moore, the Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister of Public Works and Government Services] talked about something else he was almost too young to know. Pull the goalie? This is April. I do not get pulled.

JAMES MOORE: Mr. Speaker, he says he does not get pulled. He pulled himself on every confidence vote in the House of Commons. He did not show up. Again, I know 1972 was a fond year for my colleague from York Centre, and 1974 may be a fond one for him as well with the Nixon administration, but the reality is that we have spoken the truth. We have stood up and have consistently voted in the best interests of Canadians. The member for York Centre can sit there and sulk, and slowly skate to the bench as he sits there and does nothing for Canadians.

Devoid of a context in which hockey is part of the cultural discourse and the speakers can count on their interlocutors understanding and correctly processing these metaphors, this exchange makes much less sense. It can probably still be understood, but some of the flavour would be lost. The task of the translator, then, is not simply to translate the words, but to translate the cultural context as well.

I wish I spoke Mandarin so I could really understand the nuances of this process. And I wonder how the Chinese Ice Hockey Association and Chinese ice hockey teams, like the China Sharks, deal with these issues. Anybody who knows more than I about Chinese, hockey, or Chinese hockey, is encouraged to contribute!

I do have what to say about the Pennsylvania primaries, but the race for the Stanley Cup is much more pressing than the Democratic Party race for the nomination for President of the United States…and it will be decided sooner, it appears…

Here are the predictions I made regarding the conference quarterfinals, with notes revised now that all the series have been concluded, plus a judgment (in bold) of just how right or wrong I was in my prediction.

• Western Conference
  • #1 Detroit Red Wings vs. #8 Nashville Predators. I predicted: Detroit, 4-0. Result: Detroit, 4-2. Nashville gave a tremendous effort, in large part the result of terrific goaltending from Dan Ellis. Detroit did overpower them in the end, but it wasn’t the blowout that I predicted. Half-right!
  • #2 San José Sharks vs. #7 Calgary Flames. I predicted: San José, 4-2. Result: San José, 4-3. This one was awfully close to my prediction: the series was incredibly physical, with two games going to Calgary on the strength alone of hits delivered at exactly the right manner. Joe Thornton and Jeremy Roenick finally came alive to seal the deal for the Sharks in Game 7, however. Nearly right!
  • #3 Minnesota Wild vs. #6 Colorado Avalanche. I predicted: Minnesota, 4-1. Result: Colorado, 4-2. Boy, was I wrong about this one. Excellent goaltending from the Avs, plus opportune goal-scoring—especially in overtime—catapulted Colorado over the favoured Minnesota to the second-most stunning upset of the playoffs. Completely wrong!
  • #4 Anaheim Ducks vs. #5 Dallas Stars. I predicted: Anaheim, 4-3 (all games will be won at home). Result: Dallas, 4-2. Another one I was completely wrong on—the Ducks dropped the first two games at home, then made up the third on the road. They defeated themselves by taking too many unnecessary penalties. (Dyed-in-the-wool Anaheim fans will tell you that the Ducks get too many unfair penalties because the referees, for whatever reason, just don’t like them, and see penalties where there are none.) The Stars just played like they wanted it more. Completely wrong!
• Eastern Conference
  • #1 Montréal Canadiens vs. #8 Boston Bruins. I predicted: Montréal, 4-1. Result: Montréal, 4-3. Wow, this one was a lot closer than I suspected. Mistakes by B.C. kid Carey Price gave away Game 6, but he redeemed himself with a spotless 5-0 victory in game 7 to show that the Canadiens really did deserve the top spot. A shame, too, because Boston played exceptionally well—they were simply outplayed by a superior team in the end. Half-right!
  • #2 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #7 Ottawa Senators. I predicted: Pittsburgh, 4-0. Result: Pittsburgh, 4-0. The Pens just outplayed the struggling Sens. Gerber was not very strong, but he was completely let down by his team’s offensive lines. To top it off, Emery is gone for good, it appears—if anybody else in the NHL will have him. Exactly right!
  • #3 Washington Capitals versus #6 Philadelphia Flyers. I predicted: Washington, 4-3. Result: Philadelphia, 4-3. I was close about this one: it was a close series right up to the end, when game 7 was decided on a power play in overtime. A shame for the Capitals, getting upset at home, but an otherwise excellent, physical series. Half-right!
  • #4 New Jersey Devils vs. #5 New York Rangers: I predicted: New Jersey, 4-3. Result: New York, 4-1. I was completely wrong here. Lundqvist out-goalied Brodeur by a long way, and with the loss of Scott Gomez (ironically, to the Rangers), they lost their offensive punch. “When you limp into the playoffs, this is the result you get,” said the Devils’ centre John Madden. And he’s completely correct—this was a well-deserved upset for the Rangers. Completely wrong!

Overall, not so bad, eh? Especially since I gave myself the latitude of upsets in three of the four cases where they actually happened.

The conference semifinals pit both conferences’ #1 and #2 teams against the #6 and #5, respectively. Someone more intrepid and bored than I should look up just how rare that is. Someone’ll probably bring it up at some point… Anyway, here are my guesses for Round 2:

• Western Conference
  • #1 Detroit Red Wings vs. #6 Colorado Avalanche. By most metrics, Detroit is the clear favourite here, but Colorado showed in the quarterfinal that they can—and will—play to win over the best of them. Detroit will have home-ice advantage, and with the special rabidity of the fans in Detroit, look for this to be a factor. But if Colorado’s goaltending is strong, and they put in good efforts in the first two games—they don’t necessarily have to win them both—look for them to be formidable contenders. Prediction: Colorado, 4-2.
  • #2 San José Sharks vs. #5 Dallas Stars. The Sharks showed they could beat the Flames physically, which means they’re going to have to do more of the same with the Sharks. There were 160 or so penalty minutes handed out in the last game of the regular season between these two foes—each team sent a message that they were going to play it hard and physical if they met during the playoffs. If Thornton, Cheechoo, Marlowe, and that crowd come alive for San José, they can put this one away quickly—if they don’t, it might take a while. Prediction: San José, 4-2.
• Eastern Conference
  • #1 Montréal Canadiens vs. #6 Philadelphia Flyers. Montréal will clobber the Flyers; the only question is by how much. I said the same thing about the quarterfinal, but Nashville turned out to be much more tenacious than I gave them credit for. Philly will pick up the one game which Price drops for the Habs, but otherwise they’ll lose, lose, lose. Prediction: Montréal, 4-1.
  • #2 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #5 New York Rangers. This should be a terrific series. New York is just coming off a terrific upset of the Devils, and Pittsburgh basically coasted through Ottawa. Expect Pittsburgh to be tested, but Crosby, Malkin, and Sykora versus Lundqvist is the matchup to watch in this series. This has the makings of a game 7—the only one I’ll predict here. Prediction: Pittsburgh, 4-3.

My pick to win it all still remains the Sharks. After besting Calgary 4-3, they deserve it. Shame that series had to come so early, but at least everybody came out of it without horrendous injury…

I know Don Cherry is a loudmouthed tool, and his fashion sense would get him laughed off the set of Project Runway in a heartbeat, but what sort of animal did he have to rip the hide off of barehanded to get the jacket he was wearing on Coach’s Corner on tonight’s Hockey Night in Canada?

Forget March Madness (that shouldn’t be too hard in my case—I never knew who was playing anyway, nor did I care), because it’s Stanley Cup Playoffs time!

I’m going to attempt something I’ve never attempted before: making predictions. We’ll see how well I do as these series end; I’ll try not to spam my miniscule readership with sports analysis that nobody cares about. So, here we go. Matchups to watch in this first round:

• Western Conference
  • #1 Detroit Red Wings vs. #8 Nashville Predators. It’s going to be a Detroit blowout—the question is by how much. (Also, Vancouver should have had that eighth playoff spot, but…) Prediction: Detroit 4-0.
  • #2 San José Sharks vs. #7 Calgary Flames. Definitely going to be the best series, with two very physical teams. San José is a terrific team, but Calgary had an impressive run at the end of the regular season in the extremely competitive Northwest Division, and they can throw bodies around with the best of them. Look for the home ice advantage to be a huge deal-maker and -breaker in this series, especially in Calgary. Prediction: San José, 4-2.
  • #3 Minnesota Wild vs. #6 Colorado Avalanche. The Wild won the Northwest Division and can lay claim to being the most cohesive team in hockey. But Colorado’s defence is respectable, and they have some players very determined to take it to the opponents. Prediction: Minnesota, 4-1.
  • #4 Anaheim Ducks vs. #5 Dallas Stars. The Ducks are the defending Stanley Cup champions, but the Stars are determined—as they are every year. Excellent goaltending from both teams, and home ice is going to be a major factor. The edge goes to the Ducks, however, in physical play: their team is stronger, more cohesive, and dirtier, much to the dismay of fans everywhere outside of Anaheim. Prediction: Anaheim, 4-3 (all games will be won at home).
• Eastern Conference
  • #1 Montréal Canadiens vs. #8 Boston Bruins. Another blowout; the Canadiens are the best team in the Eastern Conference and deserve the top spot. Their skating, production, and level of excellence on the ice are the best in the East, and their goaltenders may be young, but they’re amazing. Look for Boston, however, to pull out a win or two with the goaltending of Tim Thomas keeping them just a step ahead of the Canadiens. Prediction: Montréal, 4-1.
  • #2 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #7 Ottawa Senators. The first game of this series is going on as I write, and is 2-0 in favour of Pittsburgh as I write. Ottawa, plagued by injuries (and Anton Volchenkov, the best shot-blocker in the game, right now just took a blocked puck in the eye and is out of the game, at least for the moment) and inconsistent goaltending, really doesn’t have much of a chance. Pittsburgh’s offensive production in the form of Crosby, Malkin, et al. is legendary; they’ll win, but they deserve opprobrium for (probably) throwing the last game of the regular season to get an easier opponent in the form of the Senators. Prediction: Pittsburgh, 4-0.
  • #3 Washington Capitals versus #6 Philadelphia Flyers. Look for a very even series. Washington, the closest thing to a Cinderella story in these playoffs, has a slight edge in their offence in the form of Alex Ovechkin, but Philadelphia is going to be a formidable opponent. Prediction: Washington, 4-3.
  • #4 New Jersey Devils vs. #5 New York Rangers: Two very experienced teams with two world-class goaltenders. That’s not to say that all the games will be goalie duels; both teams can score. Indeed, it’s tied at 1 goal apiece as I write this. Both teams have aging superstars who’d like to see their names on the Cup another time. This one’s a toss-up. Prediction: New Jersey, 4-3.

You may have noticed I’m not predicting any upsets. The only ones I think could happen are with the Ducks/Stars series—road wins will be key—and Rangers/Devils. Sharks/Flames is a possibility, as is Wild/Avalanche, but I doubt either of those will go to a game 7. My pick to win it all: I’m afraid I’ll have to agree with Don Cherry and pick the Sharks. No team from the Eastern Conference could beat any team from the Western Conference this year, and the Sharks are going to win the West.

Tune in soon to see just how wrong I am!

How sad is the Vancouver Canucks’ future looking right now. They Canucks failed to pick up any offensive power to back up their terrific goaltender Roberto Luongo at the NHL trade deadline last week, instead making one relatively minor deal for a player who really has yet to fit in anywhere in his new team’s structure. It’s hard to see how the team thinks it can be competitive in the playoffs (if they can even get into the playoffs) with only a star goaltender and no goal-scoring power—this is exactly what did them in during last year’s playoffs. And given the way they’ve been playing lately—falling pathetically to Colorado, Columbus, Chicago, and Colorado again last night, in Peter Forsberg’s return—it’s hard to imagine they’re going anywhere this year. A shame, too, because earlier in the season it looked like it, with Luongo’s straight shutout streak across several games. But now, the team simply looks like it has given up and stopped caring.

The Canucks sure aren’t making it easy to be a Canucks fan these days.

President Bush welcomed the Anaheim Ducks, winners of the 2007 Stanley Cup, to the White House today, and made some stupid jokes about Dick Cheney shooting an old man in the face:

President Bush quipped to the Anaheim Ducks: “Like, have you noticed a lot of security around here? It’s because the Vice President heard there were some Ducks around.”

This guy just cracks me up. Actually, he doesn’t. But he still does, y’know. What a doof.

Canada defeats Sweden 3-2 in overtime to win the gold medal in the 2008 World Junior Ice Hockey Championships. This is their fourth straight gold medal, won by one of the best junior teams the country has ever seen. The Canadians dominated the game in the first two periods, but the Swedes tied it in the last period with a beautiful goal on a set play off a face-off and then a goal with under a minute to play and the Swedish goaltender pulled. Excellent and aggressive play from all the Canadian lines, especially under the game’s MVP, Brad Marchant, combined with superb goaltending from the Canadian goaltender Steve Mason, who rightfully won the tournament MVP award, simply pulled together to outdo the Swedish team at the end of the game.

Congratulations to the Swedish team, who are bringing home their first medal in twelve years, and congratulations to the Canadian U20 juniors on this terrific outing in this year’s WJHC—we hope to see you do great things in the NHL in the coming years, and in the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver!